Num domingo chuvoso, acabou...

Esse aspecto da nossa relação sempre foi complicado, desde o início. Eu sabia que não duraria, não seria possível sustentar sem prazer nenhum. No comecinho havia um desencontro, um desentrosamento, como o Bruno gosta de falar... Depois, quando as coisas começaram a se encaixar, no sentido mais mecânico, estávamos em "tempos" diferentes, não conseguíamos perceber o momento do outro. Em poucas semanas percebemos que precisaríamos de um "amigo", pra suprir as necessidades que só a interação dos nossos corpos não era capaz de suprir: eu não bastava pra ele...



Não posso dizer que essa "interferência externa" não tenha sido boa, de forma alguma! Aliás, foi com ela que começamos a nos entrosar melhor e a ter mais prazer juntos, talvez pela não-obrigação de que bastasse... não sei! O problema foi essa interação ir "perdendo a graça" e ir deixando de ser desejada. Pra piorar, os dentes dele me machucavam e ele parecia não tentar evitar isso. Não adiantou fazer cara feia, ele ignorou todas as vezes!



Hoje, agora pela manhã, fiz minha última tentativa: "Bê, se você morder o peito da mamãe de novo, não vou dar mais!" Ele abriu a boquinha faminta e "crau", mordeu E puxou! Foi o fim da minha carreira de vaca leiteira. Não havia dia melhor, só podia ser um domingo chuvoso...

There's no time!

I attended and extraordinary training on writing traits last Saturday and I was impelled to write a page about an event that lasted for no more than five minutes. Although it took me some time to find the topic, the feedback I got of the result was very positive, so I've decided to post it:

There's no Time!

I couldn't handle the pain anymore. I kew it would pop out any second then. I looked at them, wearing those pale green uniforms, asking me for the fifth time why again I didn't want to take the anaesthesia. 'He's coming out! I wanna feel it!', I'd say again.

I started thinking of all the nights I wouldn't be sleeping after that and all the times I wouln't be able to play with my older son and all the movies I wouldn't catch and all the jobs I would turn down... 'It's easier to perform the episiotomy if you're already sedated', they insisted. I was worried that my boyfriend wouldn't get there in time to watch his son's birth and I had to tell the doctors how it heals faster if we just let it tear!

I had this urge to push but I was considering trying to hold it in for some more minutes 'Isn't my boyfriend here yet?' That was it: he was gonna miss it and there was nothing I could do, I had to push!

The only way to get rid of the anaesthesia was doing it at that very moment. They gently asked me to sit down because my baby's father was there and would only come in when the anaesthesia had been done. 'You'll have to wait for this one contraction'. 'He's popping out!' Get away from her. Forget the anaesthesia. Hold the perineum. Call the father. 'You're here!' The head is out. Once again, you can do it!

And all my worries were gone. The cutest little thing was in my arms, saying hello, after nine long months of waiting and wondering.